Sorry for the absence - doing fine, just busy.

I'm glad to see that people have been reading the blog (at least the old posts).  I've been out for some time, and I apologize.  I've been working hard (ok, obsessing) about getting a certification to hopefully improve my marketability.  I have a good job, but am always looking to do better.  It's a problem I've had since shortly after my diagnosis.

I talked a number of months ago about needing to find focus in order to improve your mental state, and subsequently, your physical state.  Ironic as it seems (I say ironic, but I think many of you will say I'm stating the obvious), MS has improved my focus.  I think it took a while, maybe a year, to realize it, but once I got past the "whoa is me" stage, I started thinking "ok, I'm not sure how long I'll be effective and marketable, so I'd better work hard and fast to get as far as possible while I can."  I think about little else.  Anything that doesn't somehow qualify as self-improvement seems like a waste of time.  I am not endorsing that attitude and find myself envious of those that can manage a few hours to go fishing or sit at some little coffee shop.  I just obsess about proving myself to... someone.  Me?  I'm totally OCD.

One big motivator for this better job thing is related to a previous blog.  The new governor.  Here goes the anonymity, but I want to impress upon you how irritating and big this is and show you that it's more than a simple republican vs. democrat thing.  I live in the city that has been in the national (and even international) news for the past month due to the outcry and protests against this governor that is trying to give himself executive power, kill unions, screw with health care, destroy public schools, and vilify public employees.  He's doing all of this with loopholes and backroom deals.  Yes, THAT is the place I'm talking about.  I'm a public employee.  Not in a union, but somehow I don't think that matters.

I wouldn't say that I've ever been a political activist but have been at the capitol and seen the peaceful protests.  When I saw the FOX news footage from the protests showing Teamsters fighting and palm trees in the background - there's still snow on the ground at my house; no palm trees - I totally felt like the wool had been pulled over my eyes for the last 20 years.  There is a FOX news truck right outside of the capitol.  The correspondent was actually there but the footage was file footage from a teamsters rally in Sacramento.  It was so clear that they wanted to swindle the American public into thinking that the opposition is full of bullies and otherwise unreasonable people.  Nice.

I gave a talk a few weeks ago to an MS support group about research participation and a woman with MS and diabetes was telling me how many medications she's on.  She's a single mom and a public employee.  In addition to the pay cuts, she was worried about health care changes that could include mandatory medical evaluations (presumably to make people with a pre-existing condition pay more) and increased co-pays.  She said she had been crying for several days.  I know that you aren't all on my side of the political spectrum, but I've got to tell you, I looked at the bill.  I saw a section that is written very ambiguously and uses key words like "may" so "they" can say "it says no such thing.  Just another bed-wetting liberal making false accusations, blah, blah, blah."  BUT, it does make a reference to "may decide to require medical evaluations..."  It bothers me when people have to decide between paying rent and buying meds.

Sorry for the rant.  I'll try to keep up with the blog now that I passed the certification I was going for.  It's a two-parter, but I'm going to take a little break before studying for the next one...

Be good, keep it real, all that hip stuff.  Oh yeah - GET OFF YOUR ASS AND STOP FEELING SORRY FOR YOURSELF!  Baby steps add up.  help yourself feel better.

Out